Lately I have been experiencing anxiety (as most parents do ) around my oldest son’s frequent temper tantrums. On one of the worst days yet, I happened to be taking an Uber ride home from work, and was chatting to the driver about the situation. A father of three older kids, he had the experience to know what I was going through. He sat and listened to me talking (ok, maybe complaining) about the situation, and after about 10 minutes, he said to me softly “Darling, just trust the process”.
That was enough to shut me up. I was like ‘you’re right. Why is this so tough for me? Today I am going home to face the situation in a new light.’ And I did. With a little help from my friends, I allowed myself to begin to ‘trust the process’.
The way we treat our children directly impacts what they believe about themselves. ~ Ariadne Brill
I had similar anxiety with my youngest son while he was going through separation anxiety. There wasn’t a moment that we could be in the same room, or same building for that matter, without him wanting to be held. And held by only myself. It was frustrating and a huge inconvenience (the dishes and laundry piled up, not to mention the work emails). Reverting to Facebook for some advice from my friends, the resounding response, again, was ‘trust the process’. “Just hold him and talk to him - it will pass”. “Let him get through this phase, he needs your snuggles - it will pass”. A common theme surfaced, it will pass.
- Trust That You Are Doing It Right
- Trust That Your Kids Will Be Fine
- Trust That This and the Next Phase Will Pass
- Trust That You WILL Get Through This
At work, we recently lost a client, and it wasn’t a happy ending (not the first time this happened). Running an agency, this is expected. You really can’t please everyone. At the time, we had an incredible roster of clients whom we adored. But this one particular client wasn’t seeing the success they were hoping for and, you know what? I agreed with them. We couldn’t land them the coverage we were hoping - and they were expecting - due to poor luck and timing. We did everything we typically do successfully, but it just wasn’t working. I had full faith in our team and our process, but we couldn’t make it work. The added stress this was giving the team (and the clients/stakeholders) was holding everyone hostage. Without hesitation, the client pulled the plug. It sucked, but we agreed that it wasn’t going to work. There was no lack of effort, we got A LOT of great work done. However, the foundation we built for them, was only that, a foundation. So we let them go.
Most problems are just solutions we don't like. ~ Me ;)
As a veteran agency owner, losing a client happens and it’s all part of the process. The lessons we learned from that situation has given us the strength and experience to do better the next time. And to set better expectations.
Sometimes there are no immediate solutions to the problems we face in work, life, or at home, but that it’s all a part of the journey. Your children are learning the world around us and it’s incredibly frustrating to them. We often forget that. Same can be said about your customers or clients; they too are experiencing growth and other roadblocks that can either set them back, or push them ahead. It's a process.
Hold the vision. Trust the process. ~ unknown
Many things in life, work, parenting and business are unpredictable. It's a matter of putting contingency plans in place (based on hypothesis) in order to prepare for that rainy day. It's a game of 'if this than that' (Right? A hypothesis). It's taking educated steps in the right direction based on previous knowledge and experienced gained. With my unhappy client, we didn't know that their checkout process was broken and that Google was going to announce their corporate name change on launch day, which completely derailed our planned media coverage. With my son, I didn't know that this separation anxiety had much to do with him actually missing me. I thought he was just being difficult. (Imagine my emotions when I realized this was the case? Of course I was so disappointed in myself that I wasn't offering him a safe and reliable place in my arms as he was going through these developmental milestones.)
You learn and grow faster and remember the details from the times we fail more so than when everything was running smoothly. I have a much deeper bond with my youngest now after having carried him around 24/7. I also discovered a little dimple on his right cheek I never saw before. And the terrible clients are long gone. It became very clear to me the type of people and companies we wanted as partners and stopped taking on projects that no longer aligned with our passions. Now not only do I parent better, but I work more efficiently as I have allowed myself some relief in trusting the process.
If we can see that sometimes the setbacks are actually gifts, then we can learn to accept the things that aren't perfect or expected. In trusting the process, it opens us up to opportunity, experience, and ultimately growth. I hope you can trust the process handed to you.