I first met Steffani at a summer camp for entrepreneurs (I know, how exciting, right?) She struck me as a confident, outgoing, loving and super fun woman. We hit it off right away enjoying talks and adult beverages dockside in backcountry Connecticut.
Since our first chats, she has gone on to launch her coaching business and author a best selling book as while raising two kids and living her life full out with her hubby in Chicago. Read on to learn how she overcame 'mom guilt' and what she does to avoid all the noise.
To be present, or not to be present. That is the question.
When I surveyed over 100 entrepreneur parents to ask them “What is the biggest pain point in managing a business and your family,” the top two responses were always 1) Feelings of guilt, 2) lack of being present.
[Psst -- if you haven’t yet read my other post about mom guilt, you should check it out after.]
So, I became ever more curious about this whole being present thing. Was I present? Was I demonstrating mindfulness to my kids and team? Was I even listening when my husband spoke?
When my oldest was born, I had these intense episodes of anxiety. I was worried to be alone with him and quite frankly didn't even want him. I thought of all the ways I could give him up or give him away but would be quickly brought back to reality with his cries and coos for attention.
Don't get me wrong, I loved him and wanted him to be healthy and happy and respected -- and that’s where my doubt stepped in. Doubt that I could even be a great mother to him. All these preconceived notions of what made up a great mother overwhelmed me. I didn't think I had it in me, the pressure to be perfect was astronomical and exhausting. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, therefore I didn't produce enough milk so breastfeeding was a complete nightmare. And while all this was happening, I didn't even see that my husband was also stressed about raising a child and running his new startup. And to top it off, I still had my own agency with clients and employees to manage. Like f*ck.