How This Mom Pushed Mom Guilt Away: Overcome the lens of shame

1. What do you do?

I’m Jackie Serviss, a former corporate executive turned coach with a passion for optimizing human potential. I was drawn to this field because I found that the real & authentic conversations we should all be having are increasingly becoming limited. Most of us live our life on autopilot; thinking the same thoughts and creating the same experiences day after day. In essence, we are 'conditioned.' And that conditioning is what I help high performing executives tear down by exploring their truth, those deep layers of learned behaviors, habits, and norms that make up who they've become, not necessarily who they are.

2. What's your zone of genius?

I’m your wake-up call. My zone of genius is waking people up to their real potential (and this includes some tough love at times!).

“Have the courage to live the life you want” – Jackie Serviss

3. How do you manage running a business and raising a family?

In my life, it’s all about rituals. It all starts with taking care of myself with my morning routine that includes a spiritual practice, mental practice and physical practice focused on filling up my own cup before moving into my day as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, business owner, and coach.

4. How do you overcome the guilt of being a mom and an entrepreneur?

Mom guilt is REAL and often hits like a ton of bricks. Since becoming a mom to my now two-year-old twin girls, I have found myself reverting back to seeking external validation for choices I’m making. Let’s face it, the perceived (or real) judgment from others can leave us feeling guilty and ashamed for wanting more or something different. My way of parenting is different from that of past generations, societal norms, and even how many of my friend's parent. I have made significant life choices including becoming an entrepreneur to allow time and location freedom for my family.

Judgment from others can leave us feeling guilty and ashamed for wanting more or something different. – Jackie Serviss

Overcoming the lens of shame or guilt as a mom entrepreneur is all about standing firmly in your truth. In order to do that, you need to have clarity on what your truth is and why this matters to you. Without the ‘what’ and the ‘why,’ I often find as humans we revert back to old habits that often include self-sabotage, shame spirals and the creation of stories in our head that we are not enough.

If any of this rings true for you – it’s time to pause, check back in with yourself and ask the real questions around what your truth is (the greater purpose) and why you want it.

5. Do you have any tips for moms who are new to entrepreneurship?

Yes! I created a custom program that are the key steps that I keep coming back to as a framework to stand in my truth as both a mom and an entrepreneur. The program is called Unconditioned and includes the following steps;

  1. STOP – There’s Power in the Pause

  2. The No Show – It’s time to Simplify

  3. Energy Awareness

  4. Fuel Up

  5. Boundaries

  6. Core Life Pillars

If you are feeling the guilt or shame spiral, my first piece of advice for you is to STOP. Slow down the noise inside of your head and connect back to your truth. One exercise that I use on the daily is journaling. When we create space to get the noise out of our heads and onto paper, this allows us to see the noise for what it really is (BS!). It also allows us to see trends that are coming up that may lead to new choices for our future. For example, maybe we need to reset our boundaries with our spouse, perhaps we need to ask for help, or maybe we need to start saying no. It all begins with awareness.

6. Anything else you could add?

Listen, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. As a mom of toddler twins, who has moved multiple times, completed a Masters and launched an online coaching business, I have had my fair share of shame and guilt spirals. In these moments, it has been critical to get out of my head and start to notice the areas in my life that are serving me and those that frankly just not!

The Family Academy is a gift. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded mom entrepreneurs allows us to lift one another up vs. breaking each other down. Let’s celebrate the fact that we are kick-ass women, making the world a better place through both our babies and business.

Jackie Serviss

About Jackie Serviss

Jackie is an executive coach and the founder of JackieServiss.com.
The mother of two-year-old twin girls and is married to another entrepreneur, so she knows chaos ;)

You can find out more about Jackie here.